Our Honeymoon Trip to the Smokeys

Was amazing. :) It was beautiful and Matthew and I got to spend so much alone time together just relaxing. We got tons of pictures and we had a blast. The train ride was so neat. They told stories along the way and we had lunch on the train. We really fell in love all over again.

Christmas was great too. We opened our gifts and we were both surprised! I knew that I'd be getting my camera, and Matthew knew that he'd be getting his gun but there was so much more! We both surprised each other with little extras that made our first Christmas as a married couple so memorable. The dogs had a blast too and they got lots of goodies under the tree and in their stockings! :) I can't believe that next year we'll be having Christmas with Molly Jane!

So now I'm just waiting on my trip to Texas for the baby shower! I'm excited about it! We got all registered and I gave my mom the inserts for the invitations and all the addresses, so everything should be ready to go! We just need to get a few more decorations and organize the food plans. I'm so ready to see everyone from back home! I haven't since our wedding! Holy cow! Anyway, that's all for now!

Update - 22 + 3 Weeks

Well, we had another ultrasound at our last appointment and Molly is doing great! The doctor said that everything is looking great and she was measuring a whole week ahead of time, so the 28th got moved up to the 21st! Looks like we're looking at right in the middle of April! That's so exciting!

My belly is growing. I'll be taking pictures every 2 weeks from now until 30 weeks. Then I'll start taking them once a week. :) I've gained 16 pounds so far. So I'm pretty much right on track. Hopefully the weight gain stays where it should! I've started having Braxton Hicks contractions already. Yikes! They aren't painful really, but sometimes my belly tightens up so much that it stops me in my tracks. They're pretty breathtaking as well.

My mom has started planning for the baby shower! It will be January 24th! I'm really excited about it. I chose pink elephants as the theme! I think it will be so cute! :) Matthew and I did our registries. We registered at Babies-R-Us, Wal-Marts and landofnod.com So check out what we have on them and help us make sure that we didn't forget anything! :)

We finished all of our Christmas shopping. And I sent out all of our Christmas cards! Thank God! I was making our parents small scrapbooks, but I sort of fell off on that job, so they'll just have to get them as Valentine's Day gifts. lol! Only ONE WEEK til' Christmas! Yay! :)

Oh! AND... Christmas Eve, Molly Jane will be viable outside of the womb! What a great Christmas gift! :) Ok... signing off for now!

What's Happening?

Well, we found out on November 22, 2008 that we will be having a baby girl. Her name will be Molly Jane. It isn't up for debate, and if you have anything negative to say about it, write it on a piece of paper, fold it up nicely and shove it up your butt.

Sorry, I'm feeling a bit upset today. I keep thinking of how soon Molly will be here, but just as soon as excitement sets in, it turns to fear and sadness because I know that just as soon as she gets here, my husband will be leaving to go to Afghanistan. I have so many mixed feelings. So many questions that I feel like are going to remain unanswered. I wish that we were closer to one of our families so that I will be able to have some kind of support. My heart aches constantly. I want to be able to celebrate and be excited about having a little girl to love for the rest of my life, but I feel myself slowly slipping into a depression. I lay awake at night with a million thoughts running through my head with nobody to talk to about them. I don't want to talk to Matthew about it because I'm sure that just as much as I'm hurting he is too. I just want to know that everything will be ok and that our fairytale will remain just that. I don't know how to walk into this unknown land of motherhood without the support of my husband. He is my rock. He is the only thing that makes me feel strong. Will I make the right choices for our daughter? How will I take care of her, myself, the house and 4 dogs at the same time? When will I have time to relax? How often will I be able to talk to Matthew? Who will dry my tears on sleepless nights? (As I sit here crying, I think I've got an answer for that one. Stoney comes to me everytime he hears me cry and sits with me until I'm finished.) This is just the beginning of the long list of questions that I have that weigh heavy on my heart. Where do I go from here? What do I do? Everytime I look down at my growing belly, I feel this way again... I'm scared.

Baby News

Well, on November 2nd I felt the baby ROLL in my belly, yes ROLL! It was kind of like he/she was trying to switch positions completely and pushed outward on my belly until he/she was comfy! :) It was one of the most amazing things EVER. I can't wait for Matthew to be able to feel this little stinker.

The very same day, we went out to eat mexican food and I ordered the entire menu, basically. When the waitress came over to clear the table, I noticed that she kept looking at my belly, and then back at the plates, and back at my belly... Well, finally she said very shyly, "Are you pregnant?" We all laughed, and I was so excited! That was the first time that anyone has asked! Yay! Maybe I actually look pregnant and not just fat now!

So, here's a picture of my belly at 16 weeks. I guess I am starting to show now. Ellie wanted to be in the picture. And, yes. We already have our Christmas tree up. Live with it. haha...

A little info about baby... He/she is now 5 inches long! Can you believe it?! FIVE INCHES! He/she also weighs about 5 ounces. Holy cow! Almost a whole half pound! :)

Well, Mrs. Mary will be here on the 21st, and we all get to find out what this little stinker is! Matthew swears it's a boy, but I think it's because that's what he's secretly hoping for. But I know that if we have a little girl, she is going to have him wrapped around her little finger as soon as he sees her.

Ok, that'll be it for now. I'll update soon with the gender news!

It's been a while!

Well, today we are 14 weeks pregnant. This past week, I've thrown up twice, gotten put on light bed rest for a week, listened to the baby daily, and felt the baby move three times! :) The bed rest is because of cramps. It's mostly just annoying. I can't stand having to lay around for most of the day... Oh well. Mostly a good week. Exciting news... we will be having our "Big ultrasound" on November 22nd and I can't wait! I want to know what this little stinker is so badly! And I'm not telling anyone who isn't at the ultrasound! HAHAHA! :) (Just kidding, I'm sure I'll be so thrilled that I won't be able to hold it in!)

Matthew's parents will be coming into town very soon, and I can't wait for that either! I think it's so great that we get to have Thanksgiving at our new home. Matthew promises that he'll fry me a turkey this year (along with the baked one) but we'll see if that happens! haha! Mrs. Mary gets to go with us to our big ultrasound, which is really special. I'm so glad that at least one of our moms gets to experience that with us. I wish mine could be there too, but plans for her coming seem to keep getting messed up.

Well, we found out that Matthew will be deployed in May. He didn't want to tell me at first, but now I'm glad he did. I needed time to get past him missing the entire first year of our child's life. It still hurts when I think about it. I'm glad that the baby won't remember, but I know that Matthew will and I know that it is going to kill him... I don't want him to miss out on major milestones, 1st birthdays, 1st holidays, 1st steps, 1st everything... THOSE are the things that kill me. That's all I have to say about that...

Well, we're going to have a small costume party this Friday (Halloween). Matthew and I are going to be a Priest and a pregnant Nun. hehehe! It's a little inappropriate, but hillarious none the less. We'll probably have hamburgers and hotdogs, and we'll probably play a couple of games. I think it'll be a fun night. As long as I don't get too tired too quickly, as that happens alot lately.

Oh! AND... I started our wedding scrapbook, our baby scrapbook and I'm ALMOST finished with thank you notes for our wedding gifts. :) I'm SO happy about that!

Well, I guess that'll be it for now. I miss everyone and I hope I get to see (or hear from you soon.)

Recent Appointment

Well... Matthew is home! :) I'm so thrilled!

We had an appointment on the 2nd and although we didn't get to look at this little light of ours, we did get to hear its heartbeat through a doppler! At 6 weeks and a couple of days, the little heartbeat was at 118bpm. This time... 10 weeks and 3 days... 167-172! How exciting! I'm so glad that Matthew got to hear it with me. It's such an emotional experience. I love it.

We also went ahead and scheduled our "big ultrasound" appointment for the 22nd of November, so we should know what this little stinker is then! Let's hope we have a flasher! Mrs. Mary is going to get to go with us and I hope that my mom will be able to as well! I guess all we can do is wait... But I'm going to go crazy in these next 6 weeks of waiting. I just know I am.

Catching up...

Wow! It's been an entire month since I posted last... Oops. :) Well, over this past month, I've been extremely busy. I've been trying my best to get the house in order so that when Matthew gets here, he can just relax and enjoy his home. I've been extremely nauseated - constantly. I mean, I knew that I could expect to be sick... but geez! This is extreme! I don't think anyone could have prepared me for that.

Well, about the pregnancy... Wow. I feel like the most blessed person in the entire world when I start to think about this tiny life that is growing inside of me. When I got here to North Carolina, I had an appointment with my new doctor, and they did an ultrasound. I saw the baby's heartbeat, and I got to hear it as well. Nobody could have prepared me for the joy that I felt at that moment. It was an overwhelming feeling of love and sheer excitement that I could never describe to anyone and make them understand what I felt. I cried. I think because I was happy, but it may have been partly because Matthew wasn't there to experience that with me. I wish he could have been. I think things would be a great deal more real for him if he'd felt the way I did. That was at 6 weeks and 2 days, I believe. Today... I'm 9 weeks and 3 days. I have never been more excited in my life! We have another appointment on October 2nd, and Matthew will be able to be there with me for that one. I hope they let him peek at the baby. I know he'd love to see it twisting around in there. :)

About my family back home in Texas... Well, Hurricane Ike came through RIGHT where my family lives... My daddy and them were without power for 15 days! Thank God they had a generator. My mom and them's house is fine, but their fence blew down. I know my sister's place is fine, my brother's place is fine, and everybody themselves are ok. But I also know that my Uncle Jeff and Aunt Oma lost their house because of a tree, my Maw-Maw and Paw-Paw Fregia's house got messed up, and alot of other people's house were messed up on Elsie's side of the family. I can't believe that Ike caused so much damage... Those poor people in Galveston who lost everything... Gosh. I just pray for anyone who did lose everything, and everyone who is missing someone they love, and everyone who is displaced... I can't imagine that feeling. I don't want to imagine that feeling...

About the house... Well, I have just about everything in order except the office and nursery. But those things will come together when Matthew gets here to help me with them. I talked to Mrs. Mary and she's going to get us the bedding and some of the nursery decor! I can't wait to see it all together. My mom is going to get us the furniture since that's what she did for my little brother. Those gifts are BOTH way too much, but I guess grandparent's get excited just like parents do. :) I just can't wait until Matthew does get here... Gosh this place will feel so much more like a home... Oh well... Only 6 days left. I can do it... I know I can...

A new life begins and an old one ends...

So, I guess I can start with the sad news first... My pawpaw James passed away August 24th around 9pm. My aunt found him at his house and he had thrown up blood the Friday before this, and she asked him to go to the hospital, but he didn't want to. So, she went home (next door) to try to call my daddy and have him make pawpaw go to the hospital. When she came back to get pawpaw, he was slumped over on the couch and wasn't responsive. So, aunt Lisa called an ambulance and they took him to the hospital. The doctors said he was in the final stages of liver failure... I didn't get to see him. That hurts. Bad. I wish I could have been there, just to whisper one more time, "I love you pawpaw..."

Happier news... I got blood levels drawn again today, and they are up. They have been as follows: 11 days past ovulation (dpo) - 56, 12 dpo - 107, 13 dpo - 253, 18 dpo - 1547! So, they are doubling the way they should and that's exciting. I will, of course, be MUCH more excited when we are out of the first trimester and I know the baby is more safe. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm excited now, but I just want this scary time to be over and done with. So, I guess onto next week and more blood work...

First comes love, then come marriage, then comes...

So, the wedding was beautiful. I think. It felt like I wasn't even there. Everyone tells me it was beautiful, so either it was and they are being honest, or it wasn't and they're being nice. Who knows. Who cares. We're MARRIED! So, we got a bunch of great gifts. One from a completely unexpected source. (One of my friends, actually the ONLY one of my friends to get us ANYTHING at all...) Anyway, I was surprised about that, but we appreciated everything that everyone did for us. It really made it a day to remember. Until August 17th that is...

So, Saturday (this would be the 16th for those of you keeping up) I felt like crap. I honestly thought I was coming down with the flu. Well, for the entire week before this, I really hadn't been able to eat, so it sort of made sense. So, I hadn't been sleeping well the past couple of nights... (this would the the 15th & 16th) So, I woke up at around 5:15 Sunday morning and went down stairs so that I could let Matthew sleep. I know, I know, what a wonderful wife... Anyhow... I get down stairs, let the dogs out, try to eat something, can't, turn the television on, and immediately breakdown into tears. For THREE straight hours. I'm not kidding. Not one bit. So I woke Matthew up to go to Bed Bath & Beyond to use our gift certificate and our 10% off coupon (woo-woo!). Anyhow, he wakes up, I'm still weepy. I had no idea what was wrong. Fastforward. So, we're on our way back from BB&B and I want to call my mom. Immediately when I see the word in my phone, I start crying. Again. Yay. So I decide to try my dad. Same thing. Great. What the HELL is wrong with me today? Fastforward, again. We get home, I start thinking, "Well maybe I should just try to take a pregnancy test just to see and if it's negative I won't think about it again until Thursday (the day my cycle is due)". So into the bathroom I go, locked the door, just incase, because I wasn't about to tell Matthew I was going in there to take a test five days too early. Anyway, pee on stick, stick turns pink at control line like normal, and then... what is this? Another line?! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my GOD! I walk out of the bathroom, holding this life changing piece of plastic in my hand and I must look like a zombie. Matthew says, "What's wrong?" I said, "I'm not sick... I'm pregnant." I think I see a tear come to his eye, he jumps up, hugs me forever and looks at the stick. "Is it supposed to be so light?", he asks curiously. I said, "Well it's five days early." So I went to the dr. FIRST thing Monday morning, and what do you know, the blood test showed positive too.

So here I sit at 3:41 in the morning on Tuesday, hungry, tired and happy. Who could ask for more?

The Scare

Well, yesterday morning I was rushed to the Emergency Room because I was in so much pain. Let me just give you a short back-story. I woke up in the middle of the night (around 3:30) because I was dreaming that I was in LABOR. When I woke up and I was really in pain, I thought that maybe it was cramping from it being my time of the month. Well, it didn't go away. It kept getting worse and worse and worse. I didn't try to wake Matthew up because I knew he had an exam the next day and I didn't want him to be tired. So I layed there until I couldn't take it anymore. (About 6:00) When Matthew finally woke up, I let it all out. I was twisting and turning and groaning and I couldn't even let him know what was wrong! Finally I spit it out & he said something about appendicitis! yikes! It felt to me like my ovary was about to burst. Well, guess what they found at the hospital... NOTHING. Go figure. So now I sit here on the couch waiting for my 10 o'clock drs. appointment in writhing pain. We shall see what's wrong. Hopefully I find something out before the wedding... Wish us luck.

Trying to Conceive/Wedding Planning/New House!

Well, it's been a month now and I was on 50mg of Clomid. I ovulated. I think. :) So, even if this month doesn't work out for us, at least we know that the medicine really did do what it should. I'm so excited. My temperatures are up and my breasts are sore, but that is normal for before Aunt Flo pops in for her monthly visit. So, we'll see. Oh, I also have a dr's appointment tomorrow. I guess I'll get him to give me a prescription for Clomid, Metformin, and Progestrone. That way, whichever way this month turns out, we'll be prepared.

The wedding is only 2 weeks & 3 days away! I'm super excited. I can't wait to marry Matthew. I also can't wait to see all of our family and friends! I only have a few things left to tie up and get together. Everything is mostly done, so I'm READY!

We bought our house in North Carolina! It had a contingency offer on it, but we decided to go ahead and put our offer in as well. They accepted and told the other people that they had to make a decision in 48 hours... They couldn't get financing, so we got it! It's gorgeous. It's on 6 acres and it's perfect for us. It'll be a great place to raise our little family. Plus the dogs are going to LOVE running around in their own yard! :)

The First Post

Well, I decided since I've got so much time on my hands that I'd start blogging to keep all my thoughts in order! I'm sitting here on the couch with all 4 of the babies watching them sleep. I'm watching my stupid baby stories on TLC that drive me nuts and make me want a baby even more than I already do. Ugh. :) Matthew should be home in a couple of hours for lunch. I've got to make him something because I didn't yesterday. (It was all his fault too! He forgot to tell me he was on his way, lol!) So, just in case, here's a little back ground... Matthew (27) (who I will be marrying in 6 weeks) and I (22) met online on eHarmony on September 17, 2007. Go figure. I brought 3 dogs into the relationship. (Bentley - a chihuahua/min pin mix, Roxi - a chihuahua/rat terrier mix, and Stoney - a chihuahua/rat terrier mix) Bentley (Pop) is 3, Roxi (Mommy) is 2 and Stoney (Bones) JUST turned 1! About a month and 1/2 ago, we decided to get a GREAT DANE (Ellie)! Wow! Anyway, I hope someone, somewhere out there will read this... We shall see.